Sentence Analysis: Identifying and Revising Usage Errors in Turkish Writing (Anlatım Bozuklukları)
- Galina Blankenship
- Dec 26, 2024
- 19 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Grammatical vs. Stylistic Usage Errors
As I explain in detail in my other posts on the usage issues in Turkish, one of the most common usage errors is the redundancy of linguistic expression. Redundancies thus have to do with the dimension of language that is not easy to define—the style. Style-related issues seem to work at the level of both intuition and reason (where our common sense operates), having been collectively and historically internalized by native speakers of a given language. Semantically unnecessary and, therefore, stylistically awkward redundancies belong to the realm of stylistic usage, which expresses the unspoken consensus among language users on linguistic expressions, embodying the meeting-place of the functional and the elegant in language.
Stylistic usage errors are not the same as grammatical errors, although the line between the two is not always clear. A grammatical error violates the established standardized usage norms (the idiom and syntactic conventions of a given language). Such use is, therefore, subject to linguistic prescription (prohibition), which is formulated as a set of prescriptive rules rooted in the history of the language's standardization and the established usage patterns.
Minor grammatical (or syntactical) errors in writing may be as “light” as a typo. More serious errors may cause the reader either to misunderstand an expression (because the error has caused the meaning to change in a way that was not intended by the author) or to not understand it at all (because the error has rendered the expression unintelligible). Grammatical errors are not living, breathing matters; they are established conventions. Note that the use of a socially offensive and unacceptable expression, even though it is a stylistic rather than a structural issue, is also considered a grammatical error.
A stylistic issue, on the other hand, may not lead to misunderstanding or non-understanding of an expression per se, but it may slow down the processing of the expression—because the redundancy in it or some other non-standard usage may require the reader to process more information than necessary or because the only way to parse correctly the sentence that lacks clarifying punctuation is by reading it aloud. Not everyone agrees on how to categorize one particular usage issue—ambiguity of linguistic expression.
While grammatical errors must to be removed, style-related usage issues are recommended to avoid, for stylistic recommendations are not set in stone. They rely not only on our collective usage habits but also on our common sense.
Common Grammatical/Syntactical Errors in Turkish Writing
Orthographic errors: typos and misspellings
Ambiguous use or omission of punctuation
Ambiguous word order: misplaced modifiers, squinting (ambiguous) modifiers (globally ambiguous and garden-path sentences)
Ambiguous referent-tracking issues: faulty use or omission of subject/possessor pronouns
Faulty omission of pronominal objects
Agreement inconsistencies: singular vs. plural usage issues, distributive plural, subject-predicate agreement
Sensitive language: use of gender- and identity-insensitive, discriminating language
Common Stylistic Usage Issues in Turkish Writing
Stylistic repetitiveness (redundancy): tautological duplications, pleonastic modifiers, redundant descriptors, binomial duplications, excessive enumerations
“Padding” and “empty” expressions: hypercharacterization, clichés, hyperstylization
Imprecise, vague language: politeness hedging
Semantic and logical fallacies: metonymic fallacy, anthropomorphic fallacy
A Good Writing Style
As I have mentioned before, a stylistic usage issue is not necessarily a grammatical error. However, it is considered infelicitous (unfortunate or inappropriate). One may say that allowing a stylistically problematic text is not unlike having bad manners when communicating with someone.
A violation of etiquette will not land you in jail, of course, but it will significantly hamper your ability to communicate. In a similar fashion, a redundancy in a sentence may slow down the processing of the text simply because the redundancy in it would require us to process more information than necessary. Excessive “padding” and redundancies in sentences translate into a heavier load on the reader's memory, while “empty” expressions, the reliance on clichés, or the use of stale, formulaic language require more concentration effort from the reader by virtue of being simply boring. A writer who fails to revise her text properly, allowing redundancy or some other stylistic mishap, may appear neglectful and careless about her readers. Bound to feel strained and disrespected, the reader will eventually lose interest.
A good writing style is, first and foremost, a caring style.
Below, I analyze some conspicuous examples of redundancies and “padding” that may involve the use of extraneous modifiers, enumerations, clichéd expressions, or otherwise excessively stylized language with convoluted or stiff phrasing. Due to the peculiar nature of the Turkish language (namely, its verb-final, head-final, pronoun dropping, left-branching properties and the stylistic preference for asyndetic-paratactic periodic sentences), Turkish sentences may be stylistically faulty due to excessive “padding”, redundant pleonastic modifiers and descriptors, extraneous enumerations, and tautological duplications.
Sentence Analysis
Faulty Parallelism
According to the principle of parallelism, parallel constituents in a sentence must have the same (parallel) grammatical form and serve the same syntactical function in the sentence. One common case of parallelism in writing is a series of items, as, for example, a series of nouns that function as subjects or objects, or a series of adjectives that function as attributive modifiers of the same noun. Or, as in the beautiful except from Tanpınar’s Huzur (below), the items in a series may be infinitival (‑mak/‑mek) clauses that function as complements of the same verbal olduğunu. As required by parallelism, all the items must be identical in their grammatical form, meaning that they must end in ‑mak/‑mek, which reveals a defect in the penultimate item that end with ‑ma instead:
Original:
Üçüncü ve belki en büyük şartının tıpkı tıpkısına Nuran’a benzemek, Türkçeyi onun gibi teganni edercesine konuşmak, karşısındakine onun gözlerinin ısrarıyla bakmak, kendisine hitap edildiği zaman kumral başını onun gibi sallayarak konuşana dönmek, elleriyle aynı jestleri yapmak, konuşurken bir müddet sonra kendi cesaretine şaşırarak öyle kızarma, hiçbir özentisiz, telaşsız, büyük ve geniş, suları, dibi görünecek kadar berrak, bir nehir gibi hayatın ortasında hep kendi kendisi olarak sakin, besleyici akmak olduğunu o gün değilse bile, o haftalar içinde öğrendi.
If not on that same day, Mümtaz learned in the coming weeks that the third, though perhaps superseding, factor was to resemble Nuran herself: to speak Turkish liltingly as she did; to face her interlocutor with the insistence she carried in her eyes; to lean toward one, when addressed, by cocking her sandy brown head; to make similar gestures of hand; to simply blush, moments after making a retort, astonished at her own pluck; to ply through the midst of life in a calm and nourishing manner, forever her own woman, like a river without pretension or anxiety, vast and wide—whose waters were clear enough to see all the way to the bottom.
Ahmed Hamdi Tanpınar, Huzur
Revised:
Üçüncü ve belki en büyük şartının [tıpkı tıpkısına Nuran’a benzemek], [Türkçeyi onun gibi teganni edercesine konuşmak, karşısındakine onun gözlerinin ısrarıyla bakmak], [kendisine hitap edildiği zaman kumral başını onun gibi sallayarak konuşana dönmek], [elleriyle aynı jestleri yapmak], [konuşurken bir müddet sonra kendi cesaretine şaşırarak öyle kızarmak], [hiçbir özentisiz, telaşsız, büyük ve geniş, suları, dibi görünecek kadar berrak, bir nehir gibi hayatın ortasında hep kendi kendisi olarak sakin, besleyici akmak] olduğunu o gün değilse bile, o haftalar içinde öğrendi.
Note how each serial infinitival clause is marked by a comma that follows it, in addition to the infinitival suffix ‑mak/‑mek, save for the last item in the series which is integrally linked to the head verbal olduğunu. Thus, each non-final item in the series has two end-boundary markers (‑mak/‑mek + comma) to help the reader identify the serial items (which is especially helpful in such a complex and convoluted sentence), while the lack of comma after the last item signals to the reader the end-boundary of the entire series.
Ambiguous Word Order: Misplaced Adverbial Modifier
A misplaced adverbial modifier is another common issue in writing. Unless they are sentential (when they modify the entire sentence/clause, like modal adverbials), dependent modifiers are syntactically and semantically linked to the words they modify, i.e., the heads, which can be a verb, a noun, an adjective, or another adverbial. When the adverbial is not adjacent to its head, it may cause ambiguity. For example, it may be understood as modifying another constituent (a misplaced modifier). Or it may be placed in such a position where it can potentially link to more than one constituent causing confusion (a “squinting” (winking) adverbial).
Below, the adverbial asıl (really) functions as an intensifier, in which case its position is especially important. In the context, the intensified word is not kumar (gambling) but büken (weighing), as in “what was really weighing him down was gambling”:
Original:
Genç adam, Seniha ile beraber iki ve hatta üç kadının bir arada idaresini o kadar müşkül bulmuyordu; onun belini büken şey; asıl kumardı.
(lit., The young man did not find it difficult to handle one more and even two more women together with Seniha. What weighed him down was really gambling.)
Revised:
Genç adam, Seniha ile iki, hatta üç kadının bir arada idaresini o kadar müşkül bulmuyordu; belini asıl büken şey, kumardı.
The young man did not find it difficult to handle one more, or even two more, women at the same time with Seniha. What really weighed him down was gambling.
Yakup Kadri Karaosmanoğlu, Kiralık Konak
Note that I have also removed the redundant beraber (together) and replaced the subject-marking semicolon with a comma. The semicolon is excessive here, but comma is necessary when the predicate is nominal. The possessive onun (his) also appears to be extraneous here, since it is related to the subject-topic of the sentence (the so-called continuing topic) that has scope (priority) over any unintegrated (unpaired) “possessed” constituents in the sentence.
Ambiguous Word Order: “Squinting” Adverbial Modifier
Another adverbial that is often misplaced is neredeyse (almost, nearly), which can modify a verb, noun, adjective, adverbial, etc. Due to its multifunctionality, its misplacement can cause confusion. For example, below, the adverbial can be understood as modifying the adjacent toplanmış kalmış (incorrect modification), as well as bir yığın malumat (correct modification). Such ambiguous adverbials are referred as “squinting”.
A modifier (or specifier) “squints” (winks, in the sense of flirting) when it is not clear whether it modifies (or determines) the preceding or the following words:
Original:
Bu kararı da verince, kafasında aile hukukuna, kadınların terbiye ve idaresine, çocukların yetiştirilmelerine dair, neredeyse toplanmış kalmış bir yığın malumat, bir yığın hikmet bulunduğunu anladı ve daha adı belli olmayan karısına karşı derin bir sevgi duymaya ve ona ölünceye kadar sadık kalmaya yeminler etmeye hazırlandı.
Memduh Şevket Esendal, “Saide”
Revised:
Bu kararı da verince, kafasında aile hukukuna, kadınların terbiye ve idaresine, çocukların yetiştirilmelerine dair, toplanmış kalmış neredeyse bir yığın malumat, bir yığın hikmet bulunduğunu anladı ve daha adı belli olmayan karısına karşı derin bir sevgi duymaya ve ona ölünceye kadar sadık kalmaya yeminler etmeye hazırlandı.
When he made this decision, he realized that he had nearly a wealth of information and wisdom in his mind regarding family law, the upbringing and management of women, and the upbringing of children, and he prepared to feel a deep love for his wife, whose name was not yet known, and to swear to be faithful to her until death.
Ambiguous Word Order: Misplaced Adjectival Pronoun
Adjectival demonstrative pronouns can also be misplaced, as happens in the sentence below. Here, we have the so-called cluster of attributive modifiers—three serial llel clauses, çocukluğumda tanıdığım, her şeyi bilen, and bir kere öğrendiğini bir daha unutmayan, the adjective meraklı, and the adjectival pronoun o—modifying the same head, ihtiyarlar. The adjectival pronoun o has to be placed as close to the head as possible; otherwise, it can be understood as modifying another constituent. For example, the phrasing o her şeyi bilen, although admittedly awkward, could still be interpreted as modifying the noun phrase her şeyi (who knew that all):
Original:
Ne olurdu, çocukluğumda tanıdığım o her şeyi bilen, bir kere öğrendiğini bir daha unutmayan meraklı ihtiyarlara benzeseydim.
What would it be like if I were like those curious old people that I knew when I was a kid, who knew everything and never forgot what they learned?
Ahmet Hamdi Tanpınar, Beş Şehir
Revised:
Ne olurdu, [çocukluğumda tanıdığım], [her şeyi bilen], [bir kere öğrendiğini bir daha unutmayan] o meraklı ihtiyarlara benzeseydim.
Redundancy: gibi-Phrase and Verbal (Converb)
There are quite a few issues with the sentence below, including the repetitive gibi-phrase, the use of the extraneous kurulup, and the semantically questionable use of the verb complex verilmeye çalışılır:
Original:
Türk Tarih Kurumu, Türk Dil Kurumu gibi yapılanmalar yeni bir anlayışın kurulup geliştirilmesinde rol alıp elde edilen sonuçlar; şiir, tiyatro, roman gibi edebi türler aracılığıyla verilmeye çalışılır.
(lit., Such organizations as the Turkish Historical Society and the Turkish Language Society play a role in establishing and developing a new understanding, and the results obtained are tried to be conveyed through such literary genres as poetry, theater, and novel.)
Çağdaş Türk Romanı, ed. Yakup Çelik & Emine Kolaç
► “Padding” with gibi-phrase:
gibi yapılanmalar ⟶ Ø
► Pleonastic converb:
bir anlayışın kurulup geliştirilmesinde ⟶ bir anlayışın geliştirilmesinde
Revised:
Türk Tarih Kurumu ile Türk Dil Kurumu, yeni bir anlayışın geliştirilmesinde rol oynar; bunun sonuçları da, şiir, tiyatro, roman gibi edebi türler aracılığıyla aktarılır.
The Turkish Historical Society and the Turkish Language Society play a role in the development of a new understanding, with the results conveyed through poetry, plays, novels, and other literary genres.
“Empty” Expressions
In officialese texts, nouns are often used as modifiers, or rather as qualitative modifiers; they are also often redundant. For example, in the sentence below, the modifiers çeşitli derece ve türdeki (of various degrees and types) are rather “empty”:
Original:
Madde 3 – Türk eğitim ve öğretim sistemi, bu genel amaçları gerçekleştirecek şekilde düzenlenir ve çeşitli derece ve türdeki eğitim kurumlarının özel amaçları, genel amaçlara ve aşağıda sıralanan temel ilkelere uygun olarak tespit edilir.
(lit., The Turkish education and training system is organized to achieve these general objectives, and the specific objectives of educational institutions of various degrees and types are determined in accordance with the general objectives and the basic principles listed below.)
Milli Eğitim Temel Kanunu, 1739 Sayılı Kanun
► “Empty” expression:
çeşitli derece ve türdeki eğitim kurumlarının özel amaçları ⟶ eğitim kurumlarının özel amaçları
Revised:
Madde 3 – Türk eğitim ve öğretim sistemi, bu genel amaçları gerçekleştirecek şekilde düzenlenir ve eğitim kurumlarının özel amaçları, genel amaçlara ve aşağıda sıralanan temel ilkelere uygun olarak tespit edilir.
The Turkish education and training system is organized to achieve these general objectives, and the specific objectives of educational institutions are determined in accordance with the general objectives and the basic principles listed below.
Redundant Verbals (Converbs)
Here is a common case of pleonastic repetitiveness: the information conveyed by the first part of the sentence (virgül konarak) is already implied by the second part of the sentence (virgülle bağlansa):
Original:
Burada kullanılan noktalı virgül yerine virgül konarak iki cümle virgülle bağlansa olmaz mı?
(lit., Couldn’t the two sentences be linked with a comma by using a comma instead of the semicolon used here?)
Faysal Okan Atasoy, “Metin Yayınlarında Noktalama Üzerine”
► Pleonastic verbal/converb:
burada kullanılan noktalı virgül ⟶ bu noktalı virgül
virgül konarak ... virgülle bağlansa ⟶ virgülle bağlansa
Revised:
Bu iki cümle, noktalı virgül yerine virgülle bağlansa, olmaz mı?
Couldn’t these two sentences be linked with a comma instead of a semicolon?
Stylistic Repetitiveness, Redundant Descriptor
The sentence below is ambiguous. The lack of the introductory, subject-marking comma may momentarily confuse the reader about the subject of the sentence, which may be either aşk (love), or aşk sınırları (love boundaries), or even aşk sınırları kuralları (love boundaries and rules). Semantically, the former seems the best option:
Original:
Aşk sınırları kuralları olmayan bir duygu hali olduğundan insanlar kimi zaman hiç aşık olmamaları gereken insanları sevebilirler.
(lit., Because love is a state of feeling that has no boundaries or rules, people can sometimes love people they should never love.)
Türk Kadın Yazarların Romanları
► Redundant descriptor:
bir duygu hali ⟶ bir duygu
The descriptor hal in duygu hali is redundant.
► Disambiguating subject-marking comma vs. duplicated expression (binominal):
aşk sınırları kuralları ⟶ aşk, sınırları kuralları
The lack of a comma between the parallel items sınırları (boundaries) and kuralları (rules) suggests that the expression sınırları kuralları may be a duplicated expression, i.e., a binominal, although it is not a lexicalized one, at least not yet.
► Stylistic repetitiveness and excessive wording:
insanlar … insanları ⟶ insanlar … kişileri
aşk, sınırları kuralları olmayan bir duygu hali olduğundan ⟶ aşkın sınırları kuralları olmadığından
Finally, the stylistic repetitiveness of insanlar … insanları can be improved by a lexical synonymic replacement, as shown below. The sentence still sounds somewhat awkward, however, and it can be edited further. The stylistic repetitiveness and verbosity of olmayan … olduğundan … olmamaları is immediately noticeable.
The same meaning can be expressed more concisely:
Revised:
Aşkın sınırları kuralları olmadığından, insanlar hiç aşık olmamaları gereken kişileri kimi zaman sevebilirler.
With love having no boundaries or rules, people may sometimes fall in love with those whom they shouldn't love.
“Empty” Expressions, Pseudo-Redundancy
The sentence below has two “empty” expressions and a seemingly redundant one:
Original:
Bölgesel ve uluslararası konularda aynı yönde düşüncelerin paylaşıldığını görmekten büyük memnuniyet duyduğunu ifade eden Türkiye Cumhurbaşkanı, bu çerçevede ortak bir açıklamanın kabul edildiğini bildirdi.
(lit., Expressing his great pleasure in seeing that the same views are shared on regional and international issues, the Turkish President announced that a joint statement was adopted in this context.)
► “Empty” expressions:
bu çerçevede ⟶ Ø
aynı yönde düşüncelerin paylaşıldığını ⟶ aynı düşüncelerin paylaşıldığını
► Pseudo-redundancy:
aynı düşüncelerin paylaşıldığını vs. düşüncelerin paylaşıldığını
Some expressions can be pseudo-redundant. For example, the expression aynı düşüncelerin paylaşıldığı (sharing the same views), meaning agreeing with somebody is often considered redundant, as the modifier “the same” is already implied by the verb “to share,” making it pleonastic. However, düşüncelerin paylaşıldığı can also be understood as “sharing one's views with somebody,” meaning “disclosing one's views to somebody.” By stating aynı, we effectively differentiate between the two meanings, which makes aynı düşüncelerin paylaşıldığı legitimate (or pseudo-redundant).
Revised:
Bölgesel ve uluslararası konularda aynı düşüncelerin paylaşıldığını görmekten büyük memnuniyet duyduğunu ifade eden Türkiye Cumhurbaşkanı, ortak bir açıklamanın kabul edildiğini bildirdi.
The Turkish President expressed his satisfaction with the fact that the parties shared the same views on regional and international issues, reflected in the adopted joint statement.
Coordination Agreement Issues, Pleonasm, “Empty” Expression
The following sentence has several interesting agreement inconsistencies:
Original:
Veri toplama amaçlı ilçeye gidildiğinde yerel yönetim yetkilileri ile yapılan görüşmelerde; ilçe yerel yönetiminin, birçok turizm projesini geliştirerek ilçelerinde kırsal ve eko-turizmi geliştirme çabası içerisinde oldukları görülmüştür.
(lit., In the meetings with the local government officials during the visits to the district for data collection, it was observed that the district local government was making efforts to develop rural and eco-tourism in their districts by developing many tourism projects.)
Özdamar, M. & Çakıcı, A. C., “Farklı Gelişmişlik Düzeylerindeki Alanya-Erdek-Kalecik’te Halkın Turizm Algısı ve Turizme Desteği”, Turizm Akademik Dergisi
► Pleonastic modification:
ilçe yerel yönetimi ⟶ ilçe yönetimi
Here is another case of pleonastic modification: by definition, a local government is an umbrella term that covers any government that is not federal or national, i.e., any district, province, or city government or administration.
► Singular vs. plural inconsistency:
ilçe yerel yönetimi ⟶ ilçe yönetimleri
Furthermore, there is an inconsistency between ilçeye gidildiğinde (during the visit to the district) and ilçelerinde (in their districts). Based on the context, these refer to the same “districts”, so it must be plural in both cases.
► Coordination agreement inconsistency:
kırsal Ø ve eko-turizmi geliştirme çabası ⟶ kırsal turizmi ve ekoturizmi geliştirme çabası
Another agreement inconsistency has to do with the coordination in kırsal ve eko-turizmi geliştirme çabası (rural and eco-tourism development effort(s)). The coordinated pair seems to be the adjectives kırsal (rural) and eko- (eco-), the latter being the shortened variant of the adjective ekolojik (ecological). In coordination, the added constituents must be parallel and equal in their status. Although kırsal and eko- are both adjectives and both function as attributive modifiers, they are not exactly parallel, since one is abbreviated and marked with the so-called elliptical, suspended hyphen. Elliptical hyphens are not commonly used in Turkish, and this usage is clearly a calque (borrowing) from English. In English, when a pair or a series of hyphenated compounds share the same base (the second component in the compound), the elliptical, suspended hyphen can be used to signal the shared component, which can be elided and delayed until the last item of the pair/series. For example:
middle-class and upper-class consumers ⇒ middle- and upper-class consumers
The problem with the Turkish sentence is that eko-turizm should be written as ekoturizm (ecotourism is a neologism, meaning “tourism to areas of ecological interest to support conservation efforts and observe wildlife”), which means that the coordinated pair does not share the second component (turizm), and it needs to be repeated:
kırsal turizmi ve ekoturizmi geliştirme çabası
rural tourism and ecotourism development effort(s)
► “Empty” expression:
geliştirme çabası içerisinde oldukları ⟶ geliştirmeye çabaladıkları
► Stylistic repetitiveness:
turizm projesini geliştirerek ... eko-turizmi geliştirme çabası ...
Here is the revised version:
Revised:
Veri toplama amacıyla ilçelere gidildiğinde, yerel yönetim yetkilileriyle yapılan görüşmelerde, yetkililerinin, ilçelerinde kırsal turizmi ve ekoturizmi geliştirilme çabaları kapsamında turizm projelerinde yer aldığı ifade edilmiştir.
In the meetings with the local government officials during the visits to the districts for data collection, the officials reported to have been involved in tourism projects as part of their efforts to develop rural tourism and ecotourism in their districts.
Metonymic Fallacy, “Padding”
One of the usage issues in the following sentence has to do with the metonymic fallacy:
Original:
Bu raporumuzda biz geçtiğimiz yıla ilişkin bir değerlendirme yapma yoluna gitmeden 2022 yılı için Türkiyeyi de ilgilendiren ve uluslararası ilişkiler açısından önem taşıyan konu başlıklarına ilişkin görüşlerimizi paylaşacağız.
(lit., In this report, before we make an assessment of the past year, we will share our views on topics that also concern Turkey and are important in terms of international relations for 2022.)
Can Kasapoğlu, “2022 Yılı Türkiye Milli Güvenlik Ajandası Projeksiyonları ve Tahminler”, https://edam.org.tr/2022ye-bakis/
► “Padding”:
-a ilişkin bir değerlendirme yapma yoluna gitmeden ⟶ değerlendirmeden
açısından önem taşıyan ⟶ için önemli olan
The sentence below has some excessively convoluted “padded” expressions, making the sentence difficult to process. One questionable usage has to do with the common metonymic (mis)use of the term konu başlıklarına ilişkin görüşlerimiz (our views on the topic headings) to actually mean konulara ilişkin görüşlerimizi (our views on the topics).
► Metonymic fallacy:
konu başlıklarına ilişkin ⟶ konulara ilişkin
In Turkish, an entity or concept may be referred to metonymically—not by its names but by the name of something closely associated with that entity or concept (not by direct association or as a way of analogy but indirectly, or even literally, as a mental shortcut). Thus, one may non-linearly connect an organization or a government body with the building or the city they are located at (Beyaz Saray bir savunma toplantısı yapacağını iletti), a people or a group of people with the region or area where they live/conduct activities (Bütün okul hayret etti), an creator with her creations (Bir haftadır Pamuk okuyorum), or a topic heading as it is presented in writing with the topic itself (see below), a written sentence with a spoken utterance/idea/information/notion (Bu son cümleyi söylemem yanlıştı), or a person's name with the person herself (edebiyatımızın güçlü ve klasikleşmiş ismi Kemal Tahir).
I suggest the following revisions:
Revised:
Bu raporumuzda biz, geçtiğimiz yılı değerlendirmeden 2022 yılı için Türkiyeyi de ilgilendiren ve uluslararası ilişkiler için önemli olan konulara ilişkin görüşlerimizi paylaşacağız.
In this report, we will share our views on the topics that also concern Turkey and are important for international relations in 2022, without assessing the previous year.
Pleonasms, Redundant Descriptors, Stylistic Repetitiveness
Below the sentence has several issues: an omissible descriptor (işletme) used with the name of a company, a redundant modifying verbal clause (yapmış olduğu), and the repetitiveness of ilgili:
Original:
Gürgen Ticaret işletmesinin yapmış olduğu satış ile ilgili olarak yapılan ilk kayıt, satış hasılatı ile ilgilidir.
(lit. The first record made regarding the sales made by the company Gürgen Ticaret is related to the sales revenue.)
Genel Muhasebe I (Anadolu University), ed. Kerim Banar and Vedat Ekergil
► “Empty” expression:
yapmış olduğu satış ile ilgili olarak yapılan ilk kayıt⟶ ilgili ilk kayıt
► Redundant descriptor:
Gürgen Ticaret işletmesinin ⟶ Gürgen Ticaret
► Stylistic repetitiveness:
satış ile ilgili ... satış hasılatı ile ilgilidir ⟶ satış hasılatıdır
Revised:
Gürgen Ticaret'in satışları ile ilgili ilk kaydedilen, satış hasılatıdır.
The first recorded item in connection with Gürgen Ticaret's sales is the sales revenue.
“Empty” and Excessively Stylized Expressions, Metonymy
Here is a remarkable example of the decorative language, evoking the Ottoman ornamental stylizing. Apart from that, the sentence is also “guilty” of a metonymic fallacy: başlıklardaki trendleri:
Original:
Bunu yaparken adeta bir “kristal küreye” bakarak tahminlerde bulunma çabasına girmeksizin bu başlıklardaki trendleri analiz etmek suretiyle olası gelişmelere ilişkin geleceğe dönük düşünce projeksiyonunda bulunacağız.
(lit., While doing this, we will analyze the trends in these topics and make projections regarding possible future developments, without trying to make predictions by looking into a “crystal ball”.)
Can Kasapoğlu, “2022 Yılı Türkiye Milli Güvenlik Ajandası Projeksiyonları ve Tahminler”, https://edam.org.tr/2022ye-bakis/
► Excessive stylization:
-a bakarak tahminlerde bulunma çabasına girmeksizin ⟶ -a bakarak değil
geleceğe dönük düşünce projeksiyonunda bulunmak ⟶ tahminlerde bulunmak
analiz etmek suretiyle ⟶ analiz ederek
► Logical (metonymic) fallacy:
başlıklardaki trendler ⟶ trendler
Revised:
Bunu yaparken bir “kristal küreye” bakarak değil, bu trendleri analiz ederek olası gelişmelere ilişkin tahminlerde bulunacağız.
In doing so, we will make predictions about possible developments not by looking into a “crystal ball” but by analyzing these trends.
“Padding”, Pleonasm, Sensitive Language
The excerpt below has the following issues:
Original:
Türk edebiyatında kadın yazarlar tarafından sorgulanan bu haklar, başlangıçtan günümüze kadar birçok romanın konusu olmuştur. Yazılan romanlar, bu romanlar çevresinde yapılan tartışmalar yaklaşık 115 yıllık bir süreçte kadınların birçok probleminin toplum tarafından algılanmasını ve yeniden düzenlenmesini sağlamıştır.
(lit., These rights questioned by women writers in Turkish literature have been the subject of many novels from the beginning to the present. The novels written and the discussions around these novels have enabled many of women's problems to be perceived and rearranged by society over a period of approximately 115 years.)
Çağdaş Türk Romanı, ed. Yakup Çelik, Emine Kolaç
► “Padding” issues:
bu romanlar çevresinde yapılan tartışmalar ⟶ bu tartışmalar
“Padding” tactics can also be pleonastic, meaning that the “padded” part is already implied by the rest of the expression. For example, in the excerpt below, in the second sentence, the immediate red flag is the repeated word romanlar. In fact, the phrases yazılan romanlar and bu romanlar çevresinde yapılan tartışmalar semantically, as well as lexically, overlap. After all, for a novel to be discussed, it must have been written.
► Pleonastic redundancy:
yazılan romanlar ⟶ bu romanlar
Moreover, the entire phrase yazılan romanlar is redundant—not just because it’s logically assumed by the part that follows but also because it’s certainly implied by the preceding sentence about the subjects of novels (for a novel to have a subject, it obviously must be written). The phrase başlangıçtan günümüze kadar is rather obscure.
► Sensitive language:
kadınların birçok problemi ⟶ kadınların yaşadığı pek çok problem
Furthermore, the phrasing of kadınların birçok problemi as a definite noun-noun compound has an unpleasant political undertone. It frames the existing inequalities and prejudiced attitudes towards women as “women’s problems”, instead of identifying them as systemic historical and societal inequities. The ending part of the sentence is stylistically awkward: to make the society perceive the problem (algılamak) is hardly a winning tactic, and defining the objective of the women’s movement as to have the society to reorganize itself (yeniden düzenlenme) sounds too general and unspecific.
► Misplaced adverbial:
bu haklar başlangıçtan günümüze kadar birçok romanın konusu olmuştur ⟶ başından beri ... bu haklar birçok romanın konusu olmuştur
The sentence (women writers questioned the matter of rights and from the start wrote about it) has the adverbial modifier başlangıçtan günümüze kadar (from the start) placed before the second predicate, which sounds off. It would make more sense if women writers questioned the matter of rights from the start and therefore wrote about it.
My revision of the excerpt:
Revision (as an option):
Türk edebiyatında, Türk kadın yazarlar tarafından sorgulanan bu haklar, başından beri birçok romanın konusu olmuştur. Bu romanlardan esinlenen tartışmalar sayesinde, kadınların son 115 yılda yaşadığı pek çok problem fark edilmiş ve ele alınmıştır.
In Turkish literature, many novels from the start have been dedicated to the subject of these rights, which have been questioned by Turkish female authors. Thanks to the discussions inspired by these novels, many problems experienced by women in the past 115 years have been recognized and addressed.
